Sleeping. Snoozing. Nodding off. Catching some Z’s. Getting some shut eye. Whatever you want to call it, that’s my new obsession. And I can’t get enough of it. Literally. I am in bed by 9:30 every night like an old lady, and it’s still not early enough for me. I’m embarrassed to admit this – but last Friday, I conked out at 5 pm. No joke. What was meant to be a little disco nap before dinner turned into a 16 hour all nighter. What is wrong with me!?!?!? WHERE IS MY ENERGY???
Last night promised to be a little better – I crawled into bed at 8:30, psyched to be asleep an extra hour early, but I was soon joined by three gentlemen, and two of them happen to be bed hogs. (I know this has the potential to get awesome, but sadly two of the dudes were of the feline and canine variety). So I woke up this morning with leg and neck cramps from being curled up in a weird ball because Rex has to sleep like a diagonal starfish.
But where am I going with this? I’ll tell you. My awesome work out plans went DOWN THE POOPER! The only thing I could muster last week was boot camp, and that’s because my workout buddies would have dropkicked me in the ovaries had I missed. By the by, my boot instructor had her baby this weekend! And even she showed up to boot camp on Thursday with a kid halfway out her cooter, so I REALLY had no excuse. AND SHE WORKED OUT. It made the rest of us look like pansies, but what are you gonna do? When a mean pregnant lady says run, YOU RUN. And bless her heart, when we grunt every obscenity in the book at her and tell her we’re going to run over her with a pickup truck, she just smiles and tells us to do ten more. I’m hoping her maternal instincts kick in soon and her urge to nurture becomes more prevalent. I’m not holding my breath.
So sadly, I’m at the same weight because I could not get my ass in gear for the life of me. Does anyone have any brilliant ideas or suggestions!?!?! It’s challenging to drag myself from the couch to the dinner table after work. The only plus side to this is that I’m usually too tired to eat!(I didn't think that was humanly possible for me). So I’ve got to find some balance soon, or I’m going to become the most boring lethargic person on the planet. Maybe I’ll start bringing my workout clothes with me and pop over to the gym in the middle of grading papers. Or maybe I’ll multitask and do jumping jacks while teaching. That’s not weird, right?
UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH – I just looked at the clock, and I only have an hour til bed time and I still have to figure out how to make Beowulf interesting to high school seniors. Maybe we’ll act out some battle scenes all medieval style – ya know, work in some jousting for cardio. I’ll let you know how that goes… So sadly, this is me signing off so I can drag my tired hiney to bed soon. I’m hoping this is temporary. Sweet lord of everything holy, it better be temporary. So this is an extremely tired Emily Corak signing off – wishing you all pleasant dreams and more energy than I have.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Heidi Klum's arms + Kate Moss's legs...
It’s been a super crazy ridiculously long wait, but (insert awesome drum roll here) I’ve finally shed 25 pounds! Bam…that’s almost one fourth of a supermodel! I’ve lost 25% of Heidi Klum! Well, I bet if you took her calves, and Tyra Banks's boobs, plus Gisele Bunchen's hair...that would probably just about equal my weight loss. And we won’t talk about just how long it’s taken me to get to this point, we’re just going to celebrate the fact that it happened! I’m not sure if it was the extra crazy boot camp this week or all the nervous poops I’ve been taking because of the week of school, but alas, the 25 mile milestone has been hit.
My original reward to myself for this was a super awesome hair straightener. Unfortunately, I’m in between paychecks right now, and unless someone’s buying it for me – it’s not happening. I’ll probably have to rock the starvation diet until the end of the month, because I’m on a budget of about $.28 a day for the next three weeks. I’ve told Barrett he needs to get super rich and famous so he can support me in a way that I’d like to become accustomed to, but so far, no dice.
This also means I’m only five pounds from my sky diving goal (also will have to wait until I can afford to feed myself). I think I just peed a little at the thought of it, but I’m so psyched! I’m finally doing things instead of just talking out of my ass about them. So by the end of the year, I will have skydived (skydove? Is that the past tense?), completed my half marathon, and since I’ll be in Vegas for the marathon, I’m going to cash in on my other goal and bet $100 on a single hand of black jack. Don’t ask me why this is one of my goals, but I’ve always wanted to be a big roller, and $100 to me is H.U.G.E. Interesting that I’m talking about gambling away 100 smackeroos when I was just relaying how broke I am. Anyways, besides the point!
My workouts were few and far between this week, but I’ve been running around like a chicken with my nuts chopped off lately getting prepped and trying to keep my head above water. I can already tell the cause of my stress eating this year will be my one sophomore class. Those little hellions make me earn my paycheck! With the rest of my classes, I seem to have lucked out -just the usual eye rolling and nodding off during class (nothing I can’t handle).
Now that I seem to have adjusted just a smidgen, I’m declaring my workout goals for the week for you – with blog readers as my witness, here’s the game plan:
Tuesday: 2 or 3 mile walk + bike ride
Wednesday: Illegally downloaded Zumba DVD
Thursday: Boot Camp!
Friday: Rest, relax, repeat
Saturday: 3 or 4 mile walk
Sunday: Bike ride + yoga
Peace out playas! Have a fantastic week and I’ll check in witchu next week : )
My original reward to myself for this was a super awesome hair straightener. Unfortunately, I’m in between paychecks right now, and unless someone’s buying it for me – it’s not happening. I’ll probably have to rock the starvation diet until the end of the month, because I’m on a budget of about $.28 a day for the next three weeks. I’ve told Barrett he needs to get super rich and famous so he can support me in a way that I’d like to become accustomed to, but so far, no dice.
This also means I’m only five pounds from my sky diving goal (also will have to wait until I can afford to feed myself). I think I just peed a little at the thought of it, but I’m so psyched! I’m finally doing things instead of just talking out of my ass about them. So by the end of the year, I will have skydived (skydove? Is that the past tense?), completed my half marathon, and since I’ll be in Vegas for the marathon, I’m going to cash in on my other goal and bet $100 on a single hand of black jack. Don’t ask me why this is one of my goals, but I’ve always wanted to be a big roller, and $100 to me is H.U.G.E. Interesting that I’m talking about gambling away 100 smackeroos when I was just relaying how broke I am. Anyways, besides the point!
My workouts were few and far between this week, but I’ve been running around like a chicken with my nuts chopped off lately getting prepped and trying to keep my head above water. I can already tell the cause of my stress eating this year will be my one sophomore class. Those little hellions make me earn my paycheck! With the rest of my classes, I seem to have lucked out -just the usual eye rolling and nodding off during class (nothing I can’t handle).
Now that I seem to have adjusted just a smidgen, I’m declaring my workout goals for the week for you – with blog readers as my witness, here’s the game plan:
Tuesday: 2 or 3 mile walk + bike ride
Wednesday: Illegally downloaded Zumba DVD
Thursday: Boot Camp!
Friday: Rest, relax, repeat
Saturday: 3 or 4 mile walk
Sunday: Bike ride + yoga
Peace out playas! Have a fantastic week and I’ll check in witchu next week : )
Monday, September 5, 2011
Just Another Manic Monday...
Heads up – I’m in a bit of a hurry so I’m going to have to make this quick. I know this may come as a shock to anyone that knows me, but tomorrow’s my first day back at school and I’m still not quiiiiiiiiiite finished with all my plans. I mean, my first day is solid, but after 3rd period on the second day, it starts to get a little hazy… So I’m taking a quick blog break, and then it’s back to making mythology accessible for seniors! So I’m just going to recap the highlights of this week for you, ala ESPN, or, something else, because I don’t really watch ESPN, I just notice that Barrett is always watching the highlights of the game HE JUST FINISHED WATCHING.
The Highlight Reel
•Different date, same weight – Not bummed at all, actually a little relieved. I miiiiiight have forsaken my “eat like a reasonable human being” thing for a couple days when a batch of goodbye brownies and cookies made their way into my tummy. Don’t be judging…you would have done the same thing! Or you have tons more willpower than I do, and for that you can suck it.
•I ended up bringing a newbie with me to boot camp. She pushed hard, but it remains to be seen if she’s still talking to me. Although, I think Danielle and I got a compliment, if you can call it that. The words, “You didn’t tell me you bitches could run” came out of her mouth. I’d like to take that as a good sign.
•I AM OFFICIALLY REGISTERED FOR THE ROCK N’ ROLL VEGAS HALF MARATHON! And I’ll be damned if I’m going back on it now, because that shit ain’t cheap! And if you know me, you know I NEVER say ain’t. But some drastic situations call for drastically bad grammar. Proper verbs just wouldn’t have cut it. So on December 4th I’ll be jogging/walking down the strip with my good buddy Kerianne and getting to cross off one of my goals on my life list. One down, eight bajilion to go!
•I saddled up for a 21 mile bike ride this morning – fun, relaxing, although most of the time I’m chanting my own personal traffic mantra – “If you hit me, I will sue.” It keeps me going and I find it inspirational. For Barrett, the first 18 miles were great and then around mile 19 he tells me that the option to have children has just been taken away from us. Something about his balls being up in his stomach or something to that effect. Not having had any danglers, I’ll have to take his word that it’s painful.
•My stingy aspiration for the upcoming school year: save money on a gym and just use the high school’s. They’ve practically got their own YMCA in the PE room and I have a lot of work to do to make sure I can cover 13.1 miles in 4 hours on the night of the marathon. That probably sounds like nothing to a lot of you, but I want to make sure I’m not kicked off the course because I didn’t make the time limit! Then I’d have to go console myself with liquor and prostitutes. Or, um, I was kidding….
•That’s all I’ve got for you; let’s hope next week’s blog is a good one and that I haven’t been driven to the loony bins by high school students. Corak out!
The Highlight Reel
•Different date, same weight – Not bummed at all, actually a little relieved. I miiiiiight have forsaken my “eat like a reasonable human being” thing for a couple days when a batch of goodbye brownies and cookies made their way into my tummy. Don’t be judging…you would have done the same thing! Or you have tons more willpower than I do, and for that you can suck it.
•I ended up bringing a newbie with me to boot camp. She pushed hard, but it remains to be seen if she’s still talking to me. Although, I think Danielle and I got a compliment, if you can call it that. The words, “You didn’t tell me you bitches could run” came out of her mouth. I’d like to take that as a good sign.
•I AM OFFICIALLY REGISTERED FOR THE ROCK N’ ROLL VEGAS HALF MARATHON! And I’ll be damned if I’m going back on it now, because that shit ain’t cheap! And if you know me, you know I NEVER say ain’t. But some drastic situations call for drastically bad grammar. Proper verbs just wouldn’t have cut it. So on December 4th I’ll be jogging/walking down the strip with my good buddy Kerianne and getting to cross off one of my goals on my life list. One down, eight bajilion to go!
•I saddled up for a 21 mile bike ride this morning – fun, relaxing, although most of the time I’m chanting my own personal traffic mantra – “If you hit me, I will sue.” It keeps me going and I find it inspirational. For Barrett, the first 18 miles were great and then around mile 19 he tells me that the option to have children has just been taken away from us. Something about his balls being up in his stomach or something to that effect. Not having had any danglers, I’ll have to take his word that it’s painful.
•My stingy aspiration for the upcoming school year: save money on a gym and just use the high school’s. They’ve practically got their own YMCA in the PE room and I have a lot of work to do to make sure I can cover 13.1 miles in 4 hours on the night of the marathon. That probably sounds like nothing to a lot of you, but I want to make sure I’m not kicked off the course because I didn’t make the time limit! Then I’d have to go console myself with liquor and prostitutes. Or, um, I was kidding….
•That’s all I’ve got for you; let’s hope next week’s blog is a good one and that I haven’t been driven to the loony bins by high school students. Corak out!
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