Back on the Horse! Errrrr, mostly

So last week I wrote my blog from the airport and was mostly reminiscing about how I completely screwed the pooch during my vacation. As it turns out, I didn’t gain any weight that whole week. I didn’t lose any either, but that still counts as an awesome victory in my book! This week I got back to point tracking and resumed exercising four times a week. I even busted out some of my moves from high school swim team (and could do about an eighth of what I used to do). I say for the most part I was doing quite well, with the exception of Saturday night.

When friends come to town, and more importantly, volunteer to be the designated drivers for the evening, you don’t turn that shit down. You take FULL advantage. Now that I’m old and I can practically tuck my boobs into my pants, nights out don’t come around that often anymore. I’m usually in my sweat pants by 4:30 pm, so this was a treat to go out drinking with friends. So one drink turned into two, turned into four, throw in some shots (can’t take those like I used to either) and pretty soon I’m thaaaaaat girl. Saturday night was one of my tamer nights, but get liquor in me, and I’ll tell you anything and more you could ever want to know about me. I’ll stick my finger in random peoples’ random orifices, and I will lick drinks off of tables. And then I’ll eat. And eat. And probably eat some more. So Saturday night after drinking my last “Adios Mother Fucker,” I came home and gorged on Pad Thai like it was going out of style. It’s funny how alcohol can make your common sense and better judgment go right out the window. I wonder if people know about this side effect…maybe they should put warnings on the bottles.

But despite my best efforts to drink like a 22 year old and sabotage all my hard work for the week, I still lost 1.3 pounds. So my grand total for the month of January is six pounds even. At first I was a little discouraged. It took me a whole month to lose six stupid pounds? But then I thought about it again – 6 pounds is equivalent to 24 sticks of butter! I am 24 sticks of butter lighter than I was on January first, and why in hell wouldn’t I be proud of that? Is the weight loss going slowly? Yes, but am I obsessing about food and feeling guilty every time I indulge a little? Fuck no, I’m not. (Well not most of the time anyways). I’m working out and I can do more than I can a month ago, and I feel like my face looks a little bit less like a Cabbage Patch doll. And I treated myself to a pedicure, my five pound reward, and damn it, I feel pretty good! If I keep at exactly this pace, I’ll be 72 pounds lighter at the end of the year, and I would look smoooooooookin! I’d tap it.

So February is a brand new month and starting out with one hell of bang. On the first I’m flying to Hawaii. I know, I know, I just got back from vacation, but this was a stellar deal and I’ve been planning it for months. Don’t be a hater just because you’re stuck at work. I’m a substitute teacher right now so I’m poor no matter what I do; might as well be poor on a beach in Hawaii. But I have a good feeling about this week – my mom and I are staying with my aunt and planning on doing a lot of cooking at home. I’ve also decided to do some hiking and lots o’ swimming, so I think I can stay the course. So next week, feel free to hate my guts, because I’ll be writing this blog from the beach. Sucks to not be me. Although most of you would probably look better in a swim suit, so you have that going for you. Have a fantastic week! I know I will.