So apparently there IS a correlation between eating healthy and losing weight. Who knew!?!?!? My goal to eat like a rational and moderate human being paid off and I lost 3.1 pounds this week. Yeeeehaw! (I can’t pull off a yeehaw, but that’s how stoked I am). And did I starve? No! Did I have to cut out everything with any flavor? Nope! I still enjoyed Starbucks beverages, Thai food, and my little fudgesicles. I just tried out that whole moderation and self control thing and added a shit ton of vegetables and fruits into my diet. And surprise surprise, I feel really good and have more energy. I wonder if other people have caught on to this phenomenon…note to self – Write a book. Spread this joyous secret to the world. Get filthy rich.
As for the rest of the week, it’s been just a weeeeeeee bit on the hectic side. Since deciding to take a teaching job, I’m in ultimate panic mode because it’s classes I’ve never taught before, and my house is in disarray, and when I’m stressed out all I want to do is wear sweatpants and eat cheesecake while painting my nails and watching “Drop Dead Diva.” But alas, there is no time for this! Must finish unpacking (finally) and create jaw-dropping lessons so that the incoming freshman won’t know what hit ‘em. So in the midst of that craziness, I squeezed in a couple of yoga sessions, boot camp, swimming and a few miles o’ walking. P.S. my house is still a disaster, but I’ve mastered my badass glare that I will use on any student who tries to text while I’m teaching.
In other news, I’ve been mildly blind for the past couple weeks because I’ve been holding off going to the optometrist until vision insurance kicks in sometime in October. Getting desperate, I found a pair of contacts in the back of a drawer that must have been from high school or something, but beggars can’t be choosers. These contacts are slightly, and I do mean slightly, better than nothing at all, and I’m not even positive that I meet the legal requirements to drive legally with these suckers in. So while this is bad news for the other drivers on the road, it’s great news for me when I have to look at myself naked in the mirror. Everything’s a nice fuzzy blur. So what does this mean for me? No love handles! No cellulite! No imperfections visible to the naked eye! I have found myself posing in my birthday suit until Barrett yells at me to put some clothes on because I’m going to be late for work. IT. WAS. AWESOME.
But eventually I had to cave. For one, I was reading like a senior citizen – you know, holding the book up to my face and then extending it at arms length. And secondly, I’m a bad enough driver as it is without adding vision impairment to the list – so I made an optometrist appointment and by golly, I can see! But you know what else that means? It means that the cellulite and love handles and imperfections are back with vengeance! The first time I looked in the mirror, I thought to myself, “Who is this chubster and why is she wearing my glasses!??!” It’s true what they say – ignorance is bliss. Reading and driving are all well and good, but I’ll be taking off my optical aides before I do the Heisman in my unmentionables anytime soon.
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