Hey, hey! Check out the new fancy changes to the blog! Well, fancy in my book, anyway…a few font changes, some pictures, and OILA! I added a background picture of a beach because I thought it was purrrrrdy. Well, at first the background image was a chick doing yoga outside in front of a sunrise, but she looked way too serene and peaceful. Smug bitch. When I’m doing yoga, my shirt is usually falling over my face when I’m grunting my way into downward dog position, and there’s nothing remotely serene or peaceful about me.
But in other news, I lost a whopping .6 pounds this week. Please notice the decimal point before the 6 – I didn’t have a magical weight loss spurt after all these months on the SLOW path. At first, I felt like my scale was just being moody and spiteful, because I worked out mad hard this week! But then I remembered several trips to the glorious land of frozen yogurt world. And there might have been a fish fry or a pizza night involved in the mix. But I did keep up with my running (I use the word running loosely) routine this week, and after a short hiatus I busted back into boot camp! I have been sore and achy all week, but a good sore and achy.
And speaking of boot camp this week, I had homework. Amber, our super cute and merciless instructor, gave us an assignment. We were assigned a specific five minute workout anytime we thought demeaning and negative thoughts about our bodies. Um, hello? I have stuff to do. I can’t spend all day every day completing my exercise penance! My inner monologue is nothing BUT demeaning and negative thoughts about the size of my ass and my under arm flab! Which, I’m assuming, is probably why she assigned this specific project. So after my third bout of sweaty reparation, I started to think to myself, “Self, maybe badmouthing you IS NOT the most effective mode of communication.”
So I’m trying to retrain my brain not to shout, “EWWWWWW!!!!!” when I get out of the shower. I’m attempting to think to myself, “Damn, your eyes look sparkling in this outfit,” instead of, “Could you look any more like the back side of a walrus!!??” I mean, that’s just not doing me any good whatsoever. No matter how much weight I lose, I will ALWAYS have hips, and a weirdo ski jump nose, and hairy Shrek-like toes. So whether I lose 60 pounds or gain 150, I need to treat myself respectfully and FEEL THE LOVE! Ha, now that I’m done channeling Dr. Phil, I’m going to make myself a cup of tea and watch the end of the Bachelorette. So my message to you this week is one of Hallmark cheesiness: Love yourself, flaws included. And don’t forget to wear sunscreen, because it’s officially SUMMER!!!!!!
:) Good work this week. keep the positive stuff flowing--I'm the worst at it, so will try to head your advice too. And sweetie you can totally join the "fat ass" club cuz no matter how skinny i've got, rather DID get, I still had my ghetto booty and always will...it's one thing i've come to terms with. And yes you do have sparkling eyes and the most awesome slightly whingy and bitchy personality that totally makes you the bestest person in the world to whinge with! Not to mention it helps make you come across completely empathetic, which i think you genuinely are! So keep being proud of yourself for little steps forward in this journey and keep treating yourself well. You deserve it, particularly after teaching high school english! anyone who can put up with that kind of self-absorbed madness deserves mad props in my book! Love you much! Can't wait to catch up in just a few short weeks (okay well maybe more than a few, but it's getting really close). Hugs! xx
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